No Charge for Alterations Read online

patient,please. Oh, and Dr. Hoyt is taking the day off."

  * * * * *

  But the young assistant was stunned into staying by the huge size of theSocial Control file that was carried by the next patient, Mr. Fallon,and his wife.

  "I know just what you're thinking, Dr. Kalmar!" cried Mrs. Fallondistractedly, but with a nervously bright smile. "Those awful Fallonsagain! I don't blame you a bit, but--"

  As a matter of fact, that was exactly what Dr. Kalmar was thinking, plusthe defeated feeling that they were all he needed to make the daycomplete.

  "Good Lord, what's in all those files?" Dr. Hoyt exclaimed.

  Dr. Kalmar could have explained, but he didn't feel up to it.

  Mr. Fallon, a wispy, shyly affable, poetic-looking chap, did it for him."Papers," he said.

  "I know that, but why so many?" Dr. Hoyt asked impatiently.

  Miss Dupont seemed wryly amused as she watched his consternation.

  "I guess you might say it's because I can't make my mind up," confessedMrs. Fallon with an uneasy giggle. She was a big woman who might havegurgled over a collection of toy dogs on Earth, but here she was afreight checker and her husband was a statistician in the Department ofSupply, though on Earth he might have been anything from a composer to asocial worker. "No matter how often we rephysical Harry, I always gettired of his looks in a few months."

  "And how often has that been done?" Dr. Hoyt demanded.

  "I think it's eleven times. Isn't that right, dear?"

  "No, sweet," said Mr. Fallon. "Thirteen."

  Dr. Kalmar could have interrupted, but he considered it wiser to let hisassistant learn the hard way. Miss Dupont was enjoying it too much tointerfere.

  "We've made him tall and we've made him short, skinny, fat, bulging withmuscle, red hair, black hair, blond hair, gray hair--I don't know, justabout everything in the book," said Mrs. Fallon, "and I simply can'tseem to find one I'd like for keeps."

  "Then why the devil don't you get another husband?"

  Mrs. Fallon looked shocked. "Why, he was assigned to me!"

  "Dr. Hoyt just came from Earth," Dr. Kalmar cut in at last, before abrawl could start. "He's not familiar with our methods."

  "Let's hear the cockeyed reason," Dr. Hoyt said resignedly.

  "We keep our population balanced," said Dr. Kalmar. "Too many of eithersex creates tension, hostility, loss of efficiency; look at Earth if youwant proof. We can't risk even a little of that, so we use prenatal sexcontrol to keep them exactly equal."

  "There's a wife for every man," Mr. Fallon put in genially, "and ahusband for every woman. Works out fine."

  "With no surplus," Dr. Kalmar added. "There are no floaters to allow thekind of marital moving day you have on Earth, where so many just up andshift over to new mates. We get ours for life. That's where Ego Alterand Rephysical come in."

  "You mean people bring in their mates to have them done over?"

  "If they're not satisfied and if the mates agree to be changed."

  "I don't mind," said Mr. Fallon virtuously. "I figure Mabel will decidewhat she wants one of these changes, and then we can settle down and behappy with each other."

  "But what about you?" asked Dr. Hoyt, bewildered. "Don't you want herchanged?"

  "Oh, no. I like her fine just as she is."

  "You see now how it works?" Dr. Kalmar asked. "We can't have a varietyof mates, but we can have all the variety we want in one mate. It comesto the same thing, as far as I can see, and causes much less confusion,especially since we need stable relationships."

  Dr. Hoyt was striving heroically to stay indignant in spite of thesedative. "And do many ask to have their mates changed?"

  "I guess we're a sort of record, aren't we?" Mr. Fallon boasted.

  "I guess you are," agreed Dr. Kalmar. "And now, Dr. Hoyt, if therearen't any more questions, I'd like to proceed with this couple."

  Dr. Hoyt stretched his eyes wide to keep them open. "It's all screwy tome, but it's none of my business. As soon as I finish my internship, I'mheading back to Earth, where things make sense, so I don't have tounderstand this mishmash you call a planet. Need help?"

  "If you'd find out what Mrs. Fallon has in mind this time, it would letme run the patients through a lot faster."

  "How would they feel about it?" Dr. Hoyt asked.

  "It's all right with me," Mr. Fallon said amiably. "I'm pretty used tothis, you know."

  "But what are we going to make you look like, Harry?" his wife fretted."I felt very jealous of other women when you were handsome and I didn'tlike you just ordinary-looking."

  "Why not go through the model book with Dr. Hoyt?" suggested Dr. Kalmar."There are still some types you haven't tried."

  "There _are_?" she asked in gratified astonishment. "Would you mind verymuch, Dr. Hoyt?"

  "Glad to," he said.

  Miss Dupont brought out the model book for him, and he and Mrs. Fallonstudied the facial and physical types that were very explicitlyillustrated there in three-dimensional full color. Mr. Fallon,contentedly working out math problems on a sheet of paper, left thechoice entirely to her.

  * * * * *

  Meanwhile, Dr. Kalmar and Miss Dupont swiftly took care of a successionof other patients, raising the tolerance level of frustration in awatchmaker, replating the acne-pitted skin of a sensitive youth,restoring a finger lost in a machine-shop accident, and building upgood-natured aggression in an ore miner whose productivity had slumped.

  Mrs. Fallon still hadn't decided when the last patient had been takencare of. She said unhappily, "I don't know. I simply absolutely don'tknow. Couldn't you suggest _something_, Dr. Hoyt?"

  "Wouldn't be ethical," he told her bluntly. "Not allowed to."

  Dr. Kalmar, checking the Social Control papers with Miss Dupont,wondered if he should interfere. It would lower confidence in Dr. Hoyt,which meant that people would insist on Dr. Kalmar's treating them.Then, instead of having an assistant to remove some of the load, he'dhave to do the work of two men. He decided to let the young doctorhandle it.

  But Dr. Hoyt stood up in exasperation, slammed the book shut, and said,"Mrs. Fallon, if you know what you want, I'll be glad to oblige. But I'mnot a telepathy--"

  "Is there anything I can do?" Dr. Kalmar interrupted quickly, before hisassistant could create any more damage.

  "He doesn't have to get huffy," Mrs. Fallon said indignantly. "All Iasked for was a suggestion or two."

  "Insult my wife, will he?" Mr. Fallon belligerently added.

  "It's my fault," Dr. Kalmar said. "Dr. Hoyt just got in today from Earthand he's tired and he naturally doesn't understand all our ways yet--"

  "_Yet?_" Dr. Hoyt repeated in disgust. "What makes you think I'llever--"

  "And I shouldn't have burdened him with this problem until he's had achance to rest up and look around," Dr. Kalmar continued in a slightlylouder voice. "Now, let's see if we can't settle this problem beforeclosing time, eh?"

  The Fallons subsided, Dr. Hoyt watched with a sarcastic eye, though hekept silent as Dr. Kalmar and Miss Dupont, working as a shrewd team,gave them the suggestion they had been looking for. It was all done verysmoothly, so smoothly that Dr. Kalmar felt professional pride becauseeven his stiff-necked assistant was unable to detect the fact that it_was_ a suggestion.

  Dr. Kalmar got Mrs. Fallon to reminisce about the alterations herhusband had undergone, and Miss Dupont promptly agreed with her when sheexplained why each had been unsatisfactory. It took some time, but heeventually brought her back to what Mr. Fallon had looked like whenshe'd first married him.

  "Now, isn't that the strangest thing?" she said, puzzled. "I can'tremember. Can you, dear?"

  "It's a little mixed up," Mr. Fallon admitted. "Let's see, I know I wastaller and I think I had a long, thin face--"

  "Oh, we don't have to guess," Dr. Kalmar said. "Nurse, we have theinformation on file, don't we?"

  "Yes, Doctor," she said, and instantly produced a photogra
ph. Theyevidently thought it was merely filing efficiency; they hadn't noticedher searching for the picture quietly while Dr. Kalmar had been leadingthem on. He had, in fact, delayed asking her until she'd nodded toindicate that she had found it.

  Mr. Fallon frowned as if he'd recognized the face but